Have you ever been tired? Tired of running away?
I’m tired of running away from his memories.
It’s like a vicious circle.
You block him everywhere. You ensure no sighting. You ensure no contact.
Photos torn. Gifts thrown in the garbage bin.
Other stuff packed up, wrapped in tonnes of layering, put in multiple bags, not to be found for years.
You hide him from everywhere possible. But as soon as you close your eyes, there he is!
Popping up in your head. His face, his smile, his voice, his laughter.
You shut your eyes trying to soak it all up for few seconds….only to be woken up with a sudden jolt. Like being slapped hard by reality.
You run. Run away from your thoughts.
You keep yourself occupied – work, friends, family, parties, get-togethers, festivals, reunions.
You do it all! Like never before.
But the moment it’s all over & you’re all by yourself. Pop he appears again!
You drown yourself in work to come back home dead, ensuring you have no energy to do anything but to crash-dive in the bed!
Your eyes barely shut, and there he is! In your dreams!
And in this running away, laying out rules, tying your mind down – these dreams are a solace.
Dreams that make you believe nothing has changed.
Dreams of the perfect world where you and him happily co-exist.
Dreams where you still talk like you used to… hold each other like you used to… look into each other’s eyes like you used to and think – Gosh! I can never let this person go!
But Poof! In no time, the dream is over.
And Reality hits hard. Again. And You’re back at it!
At the hide and seek! At the running away!