Too often, when women are being kinda difficult to deal with, they get this whole – “Girl are you PMS-ing!”
“Hell fucking yes, I am! You judgmental dick head.”
People must wonder what is this HUGE deal women make while on their PMS? How difficult can it be! Like hey! So what if your hormones have suddenly decided to act funny, impacting the production of serotonin in the body and making you feel anxious one moment and depressed the next! There are bigger problems in the world out there.
Let me break this down for you – keeping these complicated chemical reactions happening in the body apart. I’m on my PMS right now and currently on a break from work. Which means I have the whole day free to myself. In most cases, the reaction it should draw is – YAY!
But here I am sitting on my bed – cut off from the world, in no mood of making any human contact except for the ones I stay with (cause, no option!), barely stepped out of my room since 2 days, let alone the house, almost pulling my hair apart getting anxious about the future, dreading what if I never find love again and stuffing my face with all junk possible, while getting sad about getting fat!
And all of this when I’m just casually sitting on my bed – trying to decide what should I spend the rest of my day doing today? Let me give you an insight of what exactly happens in my head during this time!
*Constantly switching between the laptop and phone, essentially to check social media notifications, while having an internal monologue*
“Let me finish that piece of jewellery I’ve left incomplete since months!! ORRRR Let me read for a change man. So many books ordered, that I haven’t event touched. Damn! I haven’t gone to the tailor to get my clothes yet! And if I’m going to the tailor anyway, might as well drop by at the courier office on the way. But it’s SO HOT! Should drop it for now! May be I’ll do it in the evening. I can club it with my evening walk then! “
“What else I got? Oh Oh! The DIY jewellery stand? Let me look for some ideas online and shortlist them. “ *Looking around at the room* “Man! This room really needs to be done up! Gonna be a year since I moved in! I always kept complaining about having no time to do it up. It’s time! Let me buy some photo frames and make that little lamp that’s been on my To-do since forever!” *Open India Circus, Chumbak, Happily Unmarried and ten other websites to look for stuff for the room & bookmark it.*
*Stumble upon an interesting post online*
“I haven’t written my blog in…. months! TIME TO PUT UP A NEW POST! What do I write about? Ummm… Gosh! I can’t think of any topic when I need one. Need to start noting them down somewhere…. Plus I really need to be IN THE ZONE to write! Can’t just sit and scribble right now. And WHY IS IT GETTING SO HOT here with the AC on. Shouldn’t have ever bought an AC from Flipkart. Once the sales are back, maybe I’ll sell this off and upgrade!”
Phew!!! Well, so these are the thoughts that cross my mind in about less than half an hour with multiple distractions like the door bell ringing, the phone beeping, mom calling to complain about some work I left undone, to the maid getting on my nerves to me randomly snapping at my poor brother like thrice! He retorts “This is why you’ll be single forever!” and leaves. Which on any other day would have me cracking up and I’d move on ignoring him totally!
But NOT TODAY! Cause we are in an over think –everything- mode today! YEAY! So let’s do this!
As these “SINGLE FOREVER” words echo in my head, I sit back and overanalyse every break up I’ve had! Every relationship fight I remember! And as I dread even the idea of it crossing my head, it does – WHAT IF I NEVER FIND ANYONE ALL MY LIFE!!! Oh the horror!
“Calm down Woman!” I’m talking to myself again! (And this time, out loud! Yes, we do that!) “Whatever happened to Art of living and all the mediation and having a control over your emotions! YOU control the mind and not let it control you, remember??” *Breathe in, breathe out* “You can do this!” *Breathe in, breathe out* “I’m feeling better already. Phew!!!”
Only when I just regain my composure and am back to normal – Facebook sends me some shitty memory notifications! “Oh my gosh! Not these pictures again! I can’t believe this shit still bothers me! Though I was in such a good shape then… *Sigh* “I wish that whole Eternal sunshine memory erasing thing existed for real! Like these are memories I can delete – but what about the ones that are in my head ? Blah blah blah blah! Blah blah blah blah …” AAAND here we go again!